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An American Asexual
By J. Hughes 2023 “That’s what she said!” “It’s not that big!” “I got something you’ll like, baby girl” “I know you want it!” “Yeah, pull it out.” “Eggs Bacon Grits Sausage!” These are the things that make us laugh in theaters, or sitting safely at home watching television or scrolling through TikTok. These are the things we hear in our music, woven seamlessly into our American culture along with advertisements for thinner bodies and larger butts. These are the jokes thrown at mostly women who are depicted as prudish, shy and sweet, innocent and tender and not yet exposed to the so-called glories of sex and intimacy. So much of it goes over my head.
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The first time I had a gynecological exam was in 2009 with a female MD. She used something that looked like a long Q-tip to do a pap smear, and she kept going in and out as if she was trying to saw something off. It wasn’t a pain type of a feeling, but it was intensely uncomfortable and seemed to go on for a long time. I never felt that again during future appointments, although I also never went back to that doctor. I have learned that health professionals don’t always leave medical school with the best technique. I recently read an article that said some medical students are being trained in gynecology by using robotic female reproductive systems. This enables them to more clearly know when they are being too rough. It’s as if a prayer has been answered.
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